Japanese grammar encodes respect in verb endings and word choice, so speech level is part of daily etiquette, not optional polish. You can know kana and still sound abrupt if you use plain casual forms with a landlord or clinic receptionist. Build polite forms first through learn Japanese, and keep reading strong enough for forms: read kana and kanji.
What should newcomers say by default?
Teineigo (polite language) is the everyday workhorse: sentences ending in desu and masu. Use it with shop staff, city-office counters, neighbours you do not know well, and workplace colleagues until the relationship clearly loosens. Higher-courtesy polite forms such as gozaimasu appear in service scripts and careful customer talk.
Keigo is the broader honorific system. The Agency for Cultural Affairs Keigo no Shishin (Guidelines on Honorifics) explains respectful language (sonkeigo) that elevates another person’s actions, humble language (kenjōgo) that lowers your own actions toward them, and related polite categories. Newcomers do not need the full five-way academic map on day one. You do need to recognise that customer service and many offices stack respectful and humble verbs on top of desu and masu.
Casual plain forms (often called tameguchi in everyday talk) drop the polite endings. They belong with close friends, family, or relationships where both sides accept them. Do not open with plain casual speech because a drama character did. Wait until someone clearly invites softer language.
Where do speech levels collide with work and friendship?
Offices mix English meetings with Japanese email and phone scripts that still expect polite or full keigo toward clients and managers: Japanese for work. A multinational Tokyo team that speaks English in Zoom can still judge you on Japanese greetings to administrative staff. Service counters, banks, clinics, and apartment managers expect polite speech even when your vocabulary is limited.
Friendship groups often move from polite to casual after repeated contact. Language exchanges, hobby circles, and neighbour chats may stay polite longer than university classmates. Being invited into casual speech can signal belonging; refusing forever after a clear offer can keep distance: making friends. Dating and social plans follow the same cue-based shift: social life and dating.
English-heavy districts in Tokyo or Osaka will not erase speech-level expectations once you leave the English bubble: English in Japan. Practise one polite script for rent, one for clinics, and one for workplace greetings before you chase slang.
Common misconceptions
Knowing hiragana does not mean you control speech levels. Reading station names and choosing polite endings are different skills.
Hearing casual Japanese among Japanese friends also does not give you permission to use it with their boss, parents, or your realtor.
Summary
Default to polite desu and masu for almost every new Japanese relationship, add respectful and humble keigo where work or customer roles require it, and switch to casual plain forms only after a clear invitation. Treat speech level as part of the relationship, and practise polite scripts for housing, health, and work before you chase anime slang.
Sources
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